Best man jokes for weddings in Oct-2012

Browse below for timely and topical material in ready-to-use best man speech form. A last minute addition to your script that connects a news story that has only just broken to a wedding day theme will show the audience just how razor sharp, witty and informed you are.

Displaying 10 topical best man speech jokes

  1. There’s a new Bond film out this week, and today Beverley lands her very own James Bond in Carl. She wanted Daniel Craig in those little blue trunks. She got Roger Moore in a safari suit, figuratively speaking.

  2. With the country facing the largest industrial action for decades over pensions, there's a warning in there for today’s Groom to heed. You’d better promise to look after your wife in her old age - or she’ll withdraw her ‘cooperation’ now.

  3. It’s been a great week for the groom. Not only is he marrying the woman of his dreams, he achieved his lifelong ambition of having the same number of Tour de France titles as Lance Armstrong.

  4. Ben and Rachel are marrying in a week when Austrian Felix Baumgartner became the first skydiver to break the speed of sound. The fastest man to be brought down to earth with a bump, however, will be Ben when I present him with my bar bill.

  5. A dream has come true for Ryan today – the best kind of dream. But of course, there are dreams that don’t come true - and sometimes that’s for the best. Ryan’s childhood dream, for example, was to go on Jim’ll Fix It and meet Gary Glitter. Could’ve ended badly.

  6. It’s traditional to read a few words from absent friends and family. So, here are the messages from people who couldn’t make it because of illness, prior engagement, or because they were using iOS Maps to find the venue …

  7. Kieran confided in me that there’s only one thing he doesn’t love about Sophie; her driving. According to him, she drives like a Tory Minister – always making embarrassing u-turns.

  8. A study has found that modern bridegrooms spend hundreds of pounds on male beauty treatments ahead of the Big Day. Looking at the savings Phil's obviously made in that department, he and Katie should have enough to put down on a house.

  9. There’s been so much excitement around this wedding that it’s been like having our very own Wills and Kate! With a bit of luck though, they won’t have to worry about nude photos of them on their hols ... except for the ones they take themselves.

  10. The Liberals have been talking again about a one-off windfall tax on the wealthy. But surely that already exists, doesn’t it? (Turn to the Father of the Bride) It’s called ‘your daughter’s wedding’.