Icebreaker for a heavy drinker best man

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I’m not an experienced public speaker, so I find it easier just to read the speech word for word. In fact, I’ve practiced it almost daily for about a week and a half now, so that I know it very well. It’s a tip that I read in a book about public speaking. I’ve also been drinking profusely over the last two hours. I made that tip up myself.

Ladies and gentleman, I'm making this speech today and I have a significant handicap at my girlfriend’s insistence - I'm sober.