Conservative icebreaker

Today is Paul and Linda’s celebration. It’s the big day they have been waiting for. And, they have dropped a very big hint that I should keep my speech short so the guests can enjoy the day with them. I’m sure didn’t mean it quite like that – at least, I’m almost sure.

Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen. My name is Jason and I'm the Best Man. I've tried to memorise this speech, but forgive me if I resort to my notes every five seconds. I did ask for some cue cards to be set up in front of me, but apparently the wedding budget doesn't stretch that far. And, unfortunately, neither does my eyesight.