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Best man jokes for weddings in October

Browse below for timely and topical material in ready-to-use best man speech form. A last minute addition to your script that connects a news story that has only just broken to a wedding day theme will show the audience just how razor sharp, witty and informed you are.
Displaying 16 topical best man speech jokes
1 (For weddings October 1 - November 30)
This may be an autumn wedding, but (Groom) and (Bride), you still have the spring and summer of your relationship in front of you. You'll know when you've reached autumn because that's when things get shrivelled and start dropping off.
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2 (For weddings October 1 - November 30)
An Autumn wedding always makes me think of nature's bounty and abundant harvests. Not to mention burying my nuts...
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3 (For weddings October 1 - November 30)
I love the idea of an autumn wedding, especially with all the pretty foliage we're surrounded with. I also see (Groom) is getting into the spirit of the season. He started out the morning looking positively green, and with all the compliments he’s been receiving through the day, has been turning deeper and deeper shades of red. No doubt at some point, he'll realise the fate of all leaves, and end up on the floor.
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4 (For weddings October 3)
This is the beginning of a long and happy history of being together for (Groom) and (Bride). But today also marks another instrumental moment in time, for it was on this day in 1990 that East and West Germany were reunited. Let’s hope this marriage is equally successful and turns the happy couple into a healthy, economic powerhouse. And, like then, (Groom) can celebrate the wall coming down tonight, allowing him easy access to parts which were previously forbidden...
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5 (For weddings October 4)
Today's wedding coincides with "World Animal Day", which is ironic as (Groom) has been described as an animal in the bedroom, in that he claws at the curtains and is liable to wee in the corner...
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6 (For weddings October 7-13)
This wedding occurs during "National Fire Prevention Week", which seems appropriate as (Bride) is looking smoking hot and when (Groom) proofread my speech, he reacted with alarm.
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7 (For weddings October 14)
Today, October 14, is Columbus Day. Just as (Groom) and (Bride) are setting out on a voyage of discovery, not entirely sure of what the future holds, Christopher Columbus performed a similar feat in 1492 as he set sail for the Americas. And like Columbus, (Groom) is unlikely to ask for directions if he gets lost.
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8 (For weddings October 14)
(Groom) and (Bride) are marrying exactly two years to the day when Austrian Felix Baumgartner became the first skydiver to break the speed of sound. The fastest man to be brought down to earth with a bump, however, will be (Groom) when I present him with my bar bill.
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9 (For weddings October 26)
Remember, ladies and gentlemen, that the clocks go back tonight, so the happy couple get an extra hour in bed to ... (PAUSE) sleep off their hangovers.
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10 (For weddings October 31 - November 3)
Marrying so close to Halloween makes me unsure of whether (Groom) becoming (Bride's) husband is a "trick" or "treat" although if he's lucky he may get some "candy" tonight...
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11 (For weddings October 31 - November 3)
It's seems appropriate that today's wedding falls on the week of Halloween, as (Bride) probably won't be the first bride to get a fright on her wedding night from some Ghoulies.
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12 (For weddings October 31 - November 3)
So, today is Halloween, the scariest night of the year, when men suffer extreme terror and women fear having the Willies put up them, which seems appropriate for a wedding night...
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13 (For weddings October 31 - November 3)
So, a toast to the Bride and Groom as they go off on their honeymoon and prepare to mark Halloween by proving that ghosts aren't the only things which go bump in the night.
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14 (For weddings October 31 - November 3)
Marrying so close to Halloween is an interesting choice. Mind you, it worked out well for the groom. This is the only day of the year the priest throws in a free exorcism with the wedding ceremony. Hopefully now (Groom) will be rid of last night's spirits.
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15 (For weddings October 31 - November 3)
It's apt that this wedding is on Halloween, because that's when (Groom) proposed to (Bride) last year. I say proposed... he said “trick or treat!”, she didn't have any candy on her, and here we all are now.
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16 (For weddings October 31 - November 3)
I'd like to propose a ghost! Toast, sorry. I'm muddling up this speech with my Halloween gags, and believe me, I feel a right ghoul. Anyway, I'm getting a-headstone of myself. Now where-wolf was I? Right, that's enough of bat. I think you all got the polter-gist.
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Seasonal Lines
Impress with some seasonal wedding speech humour.
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