Best man jokes for weddings in June

Browse below for timely and topical material in ready-to-use best man speech form. A last minute addition to your script that connects a news story that has only just broken to a wedding day theme will show the audience just how razor sharp, witty and informed you are.

Displaying 16 topical best man speech jokes

  1. For weddings June 1 - 30

    Historically, June has always been the traditional month in which to get married, and this is because it was the time of people's annual bath... so would be when they smelt their best. Luckily, things have changed since then, so in preparation for the wedding (Groom) has had two baths this year.

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  2. For weddings June 10 – July 10

    With Euro 2016 in full swing, I think it's important to remember just how much marriage is like playing football. It requires skill, determination and patience but rewards you with joy and excitement. Plus a dirty tackle is guaranteed to get you sent off for an early bath.

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  3. For weddings June 6

    Today marks the anniversary of the 'D-Day’ landings, a dangerous and daring coming together of men, involving thousands of vessels. Sounds a bit like (Groom)'s stag do, although the vessels in that scenario were for drinking, not sailing.

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  4. For weddings June 11

    On this day in 1509 Henry VIII married his first of six wives, Catherine of Aragon. Sorry, that really wasn't an appropriate fact, was it? It worked out fine...

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  5. For weddings June 11

    This weekend sees the Queen celebrating her official birthday with the Trooping of the Colour, which involves a very important woman watching lots of men strutting about in uniform, which come to think of it sounds like today!

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  6. For weddings June 19

    This being Father's Day, I feel it's only fair we pay tribute to both the father of the bride, and the father of the groom. I know this wedding will have been the best present they could have asked for. Although a Morse box set and some real ales would have been appreciated too.

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  7. For weddings June 16

    (Groom)’s marrying a strong, independent woman. And of course, that’s how it should be. Sexism has been relegated to the 20th century and women can achieve anything these days. In fact, it is now fifty years to the day that Russia put the first female astronaut in space. When she has learned to shut up while the football’s on, she can come down again.

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  8. For weddings June 14-18

    It's a big week for horse racing, and there are many similarities between Royal Ascot and today's wedding, everyone is dressed very smartly, many of the ladies are wearing their finest hats and, certainly, the bride and groom are hoping tonight that the going will be firm and it'll be a thrilling ride. Whether or not it's a photo finish depends on what they're into.

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  9. For weddings June 20

    Today is the longest day of the year, which gave me the perfect excuse to write the longest speech of the year. Strap in...

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  10. For weddings June 20

    Of course, as we're now in June, we're rapidly approaching the longest day of the year. That's right – the day that (Groom)’s taken on his first post-Honeymoon shopping trip.

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  11. For weddings July 10

    Now, I appreciate that you're all missing the Wimbledon final to be here today, but let this wedding be a reminder that there's more to life than single events and a smooth forehand stroke. And unlike those cynical tennis players, this wedding proves that, for (Groom) and (Bride), love means everything.

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  12. For weddings June 27 - July 10

    With Wimbledon on our screens at the moment, I thought perhaps some of you might not know that (Bride) was a very promising tennis player... and one year she was actually seeded in Paris! Still, (Groom)’s got over that now so there's no need to dwell on the past...

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  13. For weddings June 27 - July 10

    With a wedding during Wimbledon, it's traditional to point out that the mixed doubles, sorry, I mean the happy couple, are a perfect love match and that (Groom) has managed to score an ace in (Bride).

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  14. For weddings June 22 - 26

    Marriage is like the Glastonbury Music Festival. There will be sunny years filled with unforgettable moments of pure joy. And there will be other times, when it seems like it never rains but it pours, and you can’t help wondering how long it will be before someone gets stabbed.

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  15. For weddings June 25

    This day in 1876 marked the infamous event that became known as “Custer's Last Stand.” Judging by the reception this routine has received so far, this will be my last stand too.

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  16. For weddings June 29

    (Groom) and (Bride)’s special day is actually shared with the anniversary of the release of the all-conquering Apple iPhone. I mention this, because in a funny way, it reminds me of when (Groom) met (Bride). Once he'd seen those sleek, desirable curves, he wasn’t going to go back to some chunky old monstrosity.

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