Best man jokes for weddings in February

For weddings February 26

Today's wedding reminded me of the Oscars - the fabulous dresses, the sumptuous catering and the dodgy speeches. And at the end of the day, (Bride) gets her hands on a very famous and much-coveted little man…

For weddings February 26

Ladies and gentlemen, I had originally intended to just say a few words. But before dinner was served the groom took my speech, re wrote it and left me with this version that’s more fitting for this weekend's Oscar ceremony.

For weddings February 26

Ladies and gentlemen, I shall try to be brief. I do have a habit of rambling with my speeches, so you might feel like you've walked into the Oscar ceremony by mistake, but please try to relax and bear with me. If it's helps, loosen your top button. Only your own please, sir – it's not that kind of party.

For weddings February 13

Today is, of course, Shrove Tuesday, a day associated with pancakes, but far be it for me to make any cheap jokes about the groom being a fantastic tosser.

For weddings February 1-28

February is a special time for the newlyweds. I remember them going for a dinner at a Greek restaurant on the 14th February, an event (Groom) likes to call ‘The St Valentine's Moussaka’.

For weddings February 14

Of course, (Bride) chose the date of the wedding. Valentine's Day is important to young women - it's the highlight of their year. It's a bit like the last day of the FA transfer window is for men….

For weddings February 14

I took the trouble of looking up the legend of St. Valentine, and it appears he was beaten to death with clubs and stones. But as long as you remember your anniversary, (Groom), I'm sure you'll avoid anything like that….

For weddings February 14

There are those who accuse (Groom) of being unromantic. Well, all I can say, (Groom), is that he’ll prove them wrong on February 14 when he celebrates Valentine’s Hour.

For weddings February 16

On this very day, some 46 years ago, the first ever team from the then Beazer Homes League qualified for the 5th round of the FA Cup. I mention this because here we are again now, another no-hoper having done astonishingly well.

For weddings February 23

Today's big occasion coincides with the day, back in 1940, when Disney's film "Pinocchio" was released at the cinema, and, of course, the bride is hoping that tonight will see a similar recreation of the famous scene where one of Pinocchio's extremities grows longer and longer.

For weddings January 1 – February 28

Now everyone, I'm aware that it's a particularly cold winter's day for a wedding, but don't worry... if anyone is feeling a chill running down their spine it's probably because you've just married (Groom).

For weddings January 1 – February 28

Good to see that you've all made it here today despite the wintery conditions, especially those of you who got 6 inches overnight, well done for struggling out of bed.

For weddings January 1 – February 28

Of course, in the winter months it's worth noting that what we have before us are two precious and delicate snowflakes – two utterly unique individuals who have somehow landed together on this earth. Of course, (Groom) looks more like a snowball than a snowflake, but the sentiment's the same...

For weddings January 1 – February 28

Looks like we may be facing some seriously cold weather for the first time this winter. Hopefully the newlyweds can find a way to keep themselves warm at night.