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Best Man Speech Material

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Basics

Best Man Speech Explained

The best man's formal speech duties are typically light, involving perhaps the occasional short tribute or response to a toast. Then it's time for the mayhem, with a full and frank character assassination of the groom your primary goal. This can take the form of entertaining stories, deft one-liners or illuminating observations, and then, after the odd sprinkling of sentiment, you'll want to ramp things up with a killer ending to make your speech as memorable as possible.

Tips on how to write a best man speech

  1. Be optimistic and congratulatory towards the newlyweds, even if you know it's not going to last.
  2. By complimenting the bride, her mother and her bridesmaids, you'll get a guaranteed round of applause.
  3. Make people laugh and get to the point. Wedding speech jokes are best delivered with short, sharp lines.
  4. Jokes based on a common experience are a great way to unite the wedding guests.
  5. Don't insult the bride or her friends, unless you're happy to undergo an impromptu vasectomy under the table.
  6. Never refer to ex-girlfriends or boyfriends, especially if they're there.
  7. Use anecdotes that everyone can relate to, and which don't require a lengthy backstory to explain.
  8. Try to say everything in less than 9 minutes.
  9. Avoid gimmicks. If your speech relies on props, videos or a dance routine, it's probably about as funny as your neighbour's holiday snaps.
  10. Sugar the pill. If you've dedicated a significant portion of your speech to mocking someone, at least say they turned up looking nice today.

Building Blocks

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