Visual gag

Firstly, to all the gentlemen at this reception, Linda is now a married lady. She has taken the vows and I don't think I need remind you that marriage is sacred. I am therefore sending an usher round with a bucket, and will anyone still with a key to Linda's house please now surrender it by throwing it into the bucket as Phil comes past. [Wait while stooges in audience throw keys in and usher brings bucket to you, then turns and walks away]. Er, Phil - haven't you forgotten something? [Usher returns and throws own key in bucket].

When Paul asked me to be best man, he reassured me everything would be fine by giving me this book [hold up book]. He obviously didn’t read it himself, and I stopped myself at page 7 when I read, and I quote: ‘keeping a clear, sober head throughout the wedding celebrations is key to performing well as a best man. [Throw book away].