No or faulty microphone

First of all, I did ask for a microphone but was told one wasn’t available. So if you can't hear me at the back, the silence from the people at the front should re assure you that you're not missing out on anything.

Finally, on behalf of all the guests, I would like to thank Paul and Linda for a perfect day, which we are all thoroughly enjoying. However, I must admit to being a little disappointed not to have been provided with a microphone for my speech, as it immediately ruled out the ‘microphone-over-groin-like-willy’ gag, that I'd been planning to open with.