Humorous wedding observations

Wedding location: Overseas
I don’t mind admitting I wrote this speech coming over here on the plane. There was a moment where we hit some serious turbulence, so I’m afraid the next ten minutes consists of my Last Will and Testament.

I have to say I wasn't sure about how a foreign wedding would work out, as it's quite a lot of money to fly and book accommodation out here. Then I realised it was a stroke of genius. Those who loved Paula and Oliver the most would find the money to attend, leaving behind all the freeloaders and cheapskates who'd have hogged the buffet and given you a 10-quid gift voucher as a wedding present.

This is what everyone dreams of, isn't it? A beach wedding on a tropical island paradise. I do wish you'd warned me it was going to be this warm though. I'd have had my suit tailored smaller and made out of breathable material. I've sweat myself down six pant sizes while I've been sat here already.