Setting up the roast (Take a risk)

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  1. When Paul asked me to be best man, he said one of the reasons he chose me was because I could be trusted not to say anything embarrassing. Before I betray that trust, I'd like to say a few words about Linda. Such a beautiful, intelligent and happy girl could have the choice of any man, which leaves me feeling slightly perplexed.

  2. When Paul asked me to be best man, he said one of the reasons he chose me was because I could be trusted not to say anything about the time he soiled his pants on the roller coaster at Six Flags on his 16th birthday. Having now betrayed that trust, I may as well expose all his other embarrassing secrets. You see, Paul, I figure I'm already going to get a beating from you after this, so I may as well go down kicking and screaming - which leads me nicely on to the next story.

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