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When Paul asked me to be his Best Man, he told me all the stories not to mention. Of course, that was like waving a red flag in front of a bull, as I view this as the opportunity to exact revenge for years of physical and emotional torment at his hands. And unfortunately for Paul, Linda has granted me complete artistic freedom and has guaranteed me life-long immunity.
Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen. My name is Jason, Paul’s older brother and Best Man for the day. Paul didn't choose me in the traditional way, actually me and our other brother Sean drew straws... but don't for one minute think that because I’m up here I must be the winner.