Golf

Like all best mates, Paul and I often talked about the type of girl we’d like to marry. I remember Paul had two very important criteria. The first being, she would have to tolerate his golf obsession - which is fair enough, Paul loves golf. He sleeps, eats and breaths golf. The second being, she wouldn’t be a hooker - which if you ask me, is being a little fussy. I’ve been out with plenty of hookers and it’s not a problem. You take their wrists, get them to hold their left hand just a little higher than the right, with their thumb down here… it doesn’t take long to sort out.

Paul wears two pairs of pants when he plays golf, just in case he actually lands the ball on the green.