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1 Good evening everyone. This is actually the first time I have made a speech and it is true when they say that’s it’s nerve racking. I only feel slightly better knowing that I am not the only person in the room who is apprehensive, but then again she has just married Paul Wilson.
From: Specific openers if / You are nervous Go
2 Good evening friends and family. There are obviously two very important people here today, without whom very little of this would have been possible. And the great thing is that as the evening progresses, most of us will get to spend more and more time talking with them. So please join me in a very special toast – to the bar staff!
From: Get everyone’s attention / Light hearted icebreaker Go
3 I would like to start by saying what a pleasure it is to welcome, on this very happy day all relatives and friends of both families. Apart from a few local school friends everybody else has traveled at least a hundred miles to attend this occasion. It shows how much you love and respect the bride and groom. Either that or you just came for the free meal. But even that comes at a cost, because now you have to listen to me.
From: Welcome the wedding guests / With humor Go
4 In the run-up to today, the bride and groom had a bit of an issue with the seating plan, because they really couldn’t decide who to put where. So as best man, I offered to step in and help work something out. What we finally decided was to use the wedding present list, and put those who bought the biggest items nearest the front, and work it back from there. So if they can hear me at the back there, thank you to Tony and Sue for the oven glove.
From: Amusing aside / Any anxious moments Go
5 I first came to understand what a sensitive, caring friend Jason could be when we were in the same class. One time when we were in the second grade I must have looked unhappy, because you know what Jason did? He put his pencil in my cubbyhole. And I have no doubt, Allison, that he’ll do the same for you. [As I recall, it was a short, stubby pencil.]
From: Personal connection tribute / School friend Go
6 Good evening everyone and on behalf of the wedding party, welcome to Paul and Linda’s special day! First of all I would like to thank you all for coming tonight, which is easy for me to say, as I am not paying for the open bar. Paul, what are you laughing at? That is like calling the kettle black my friend. Linda, I am just so proud of you putting up with Mr. Whiskey A-Go-Go over here.
From: Get everyone’s attention / Light hearted icebreaker Go
7 I would like to start by saying what a pleasure it is to welcome you all to Linda and Paul's wedding. These two made me compete for this honor tonight, but I was able to beat Andy the waiter over there two out of three in rock-paper-scissors, so here I am. But enough about me. Just listen up for five minutes while I tell you about this couple, and I’ll make it seem like the shortest three hours of your life.
From: Welcome the wedding guests / With humor Go
8 Paul’s Miss Right is now Mrs. Right! Boy is Paul a lucky dude! He tells me he has no idea why Linda–beautiful, loving, successful Linda—would want to hook-up with him. I tell him it is because they share the same commitment to volunteer work, and that he is Linda’s cause!
From: Praising the bride / How lucky the groom is Go
9 I'd like to talk about Paul's greatest achievement, which happened today, and that was keeping his suit jacket on throughout the ceremony and resisting what must have been an intense desire to turn up in shorts today. But despite the heat and discomfort, it’s been well worth the effort, for amongst other things, the wet patch down the length of his left leg and around the groin area can be passed off as sweat.
From: The season / Summer wedding Go
10 Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I have been told to keep this brief. So, in view of what I’m wearing, I’ve prepared what could be termed the kilt version of the speech. Short enough to keep it interesting, but long enough to cover the important bits… or in my case, the dusty bits.
From: The wedding outfits / Kilt Go
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