Being best man

When Paul asked me to be his best man, I naturally had many questions. What had I done to be bestowed with such an honor? Had someone else refused - or had all his other friends left the country? And, more important than all of those, could I myself refuse and still get an invitation to consume loads of free alcohol? It was a risk I was unwilling to take.

Now, I have no idea why my position here tonight is called the Best Man. I don’t get to prove it! If I’m the Best Man, how come Paul’s the one getting married?