Roast

My name is Jason, and I’m Paul’s Best Man. One tradition of the best man is to try and humiliate and embarrass the groom. But because Paul is capable of managing that all on his own, I thought we'd break with tradition and I'd tell you what a kind, caring and thoughtful young man Paul is. But after hours of trying the speech still only said; “Paul is a kind caring young man”, so I thought we'd revert to plan A. Some of the old traditions are still the best.

For those of you who don't know me, my name is Jason and I am deeply honored to have been asked to give a speech today. But what can I say about the groom that hasn't already appeared in an episode of the Jerry Springer Show?