The Eleven-Year-Old Best Man Legends

(June 2017)

You've got to hand it to the Scottish; a people so sure of their rugged national identity that they decided knee-length tartan skirts were manly, then - by sheer force of will - made it so. And, to be fair, the Scots are good at a lot of things: golf courses; whisky; inventions in general; oh, and best man's speeches. Definitely best man's speeches.

Whenever we run a competition here at thebestmanspeech.com, the entries from Scotland always rank highly. Perhaps it's the same self-confidence behind the whole kilt thing that comes into play when a Scotsman takes to the mic at his best mate's wedding. Perhaps it's the national sense of humour - like England's but given a hard edge by exposure to sharp winds and short days. Perhaps it's about knowing your audience are a little less easily shocked than their sometimes prudish neighbours south of the border. Whatever it is, the Scottish are natural masters of the good-hearted roast; always willing to push the envelope. And, as the story of 11 year-old Robbie Gibson and his new step-brother Keenan shows, they start young!

Robbie and Keenan made the UK papers after an online video of their barnstorming best man's speech for Robbie's dad, Jim Gibson, went viral. Taking joint duties for the marriage of Jim to Keenan's mum, Emma, the pair opened smoothly, with the traditional round of compliments for the bride and her bridesmaids. They wrapped things up pretty neatly too, with all of the required thanks to the assembled guests, and an invitation to raise glasses for the traditional toast. It's what happened in between that brought the house down…

Keenan got the ball rolling with a cheeky dig at his Mum. It's usually a no-no to target the bride of course, but we think being her 11-year-old son might be the only acceptable excuse on that front. No doubt his mum knew what he meant when he teased her with this line:

  1. "It's lovely to see my mum sitting here at the top table next to Jim and her bridesmaids and not sleeping in the toilet ... although there's still plenty time for that."

After that, the floodgates opened. The boys laid into Jim, barely keeping their giggles under wraps as they launch into a list of all the things their dad is "best at": "Football."
"Eating."
"Driving."
"Eating."
"Tennis."
"Eating."
"And lastly, and most important of all… shagging."

As the adults in the room gasped in shock, then collapsed into fits of laughter, it was clear that Robbie and Keenan had got away with their bold move. And Keenan's closing line showed these boys will be raising hell in the years to come:

  1. "You'll be pleased to hear this is us finishing as we're choking for a pint".

If you ask us, by the time these young brothers get married themselves, they'll have generated a mountain of material for their own best men! Epic speech, lads. At thebestmanspeech.com, we tip our cap to you.

You can watch Keenan and Robbie raising the roof on their mum and dad's reception here.