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Best man joke of the month
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Displaying 1 to 10 of 156 line of the months
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| Jan 2000 |
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I would like to start by saying what a pleasure it is to welcome you all to Linda and Paul's wedding. These two made me compete for this honour tonight, but I was able to beat Andy the waiter over there two out of three in rock-paper-scissors, so here I am. But enough about me. Just listen up while I tell you about this couple, and I’ll make it seem like the shortest three hours of your life. |
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| Feb 2000 |
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Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen. I must inform you that I’ve had quite a heavy night and I’m still feeling a little fragile. So please spare a thought and try not to clap too loudly during my speech because I’ve got a dreadful hangover and a splitting headache. You’d think I’d know better than to be out drinking in the early hours of the morning the night before a big wedding - but Paul’s a mate and he needed some company. |
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| Mar 2000 |
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Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentleman. We’ve now reached the point in the proceedings when we all get to see the groom shift uncomfortably in his seat and grip the tablecloth in nervous anticipation. That’s right. I’ve been asked to give him the drinks bill!!! |
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| Apr 2000 |
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For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Jason, and I am the best man. Let me just say that the groom has a splendid set of friends and to be chosen from such esteemed company was something of a surprise. And since that moment I have struggled almost daily with an uneasy sensation, which I can compare only to the first disagreeable feelings which usually precede a fit of sea-sickness. |
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| May 2000 |
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Paul, you leave here today having gained a wife that is warm, loving and caring, a wife whose outer beauty is surpassed only by her amazing inner radiance. Linda, you on the other hand, leave today with, well, a gorgeous dress and a lovely, lovely bouquet. |
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| Jun 2000 |
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First of all, I’d like to thank Paul for allowing me the privilege of being his best man. It seems to be genetically encoded in all men to choose the friend with the most socially unacceptable traits to get up here. Finally, someone appreciates me for who I am. |
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| Jul 2000 |
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The groom is a very special person to me. He is a true friend who never ceases to amaze me with his kindness and generosity. He has listened to me through many a crisis. He gives without any thought of reward. He is a super guy and a role model of a friend. And yes, we’ve had our differences… but nothing that two lawyers and a high court judge couldn’t sort out. |
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| Aug 2000 |
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I feel hugely honoured to be Paul’s best man today. The company is perfect, the food is delicious, the venue is beautiful and the bride even more so. It seems a shame that, in time honoured tradition, I’m forced to give Paul the most uncomfortable five minutes of his life. But let’s face it, that’s exactly what he gives me whenever I get into his car. |
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| Sep 2000 |
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As you may know, the groom and I share a long and treasured history. I can honestly tell you there’s nothing I wouldn't do for him. At the same time, I know there’s nothing he wouldn't do for me – in fact...we’ve spent our lives doing absolutely nothing for one another. |
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| Oct 2000 |
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Before I start ladies and gentlemen, let us observe a few moments silence in memory of the 3,000 prawns, 200 chickens, countless carnations, delphiniums, lilies and roses who selflessly gave their lives to make this wedding celebration possible. |
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Line of the month competition |
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Each month we review more than 200 best man speech jokes acquired through the wedding speech competitions we promote with our publishing partners. Our favourite 'best man speech jokes' take pride of place in our Hall of Fame.
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Each week we create timely jokes specifically formatted for a best man speech. It's a great way to show everyone just how much thought you've put into your speech. |
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Show the wedding reception you're at the cutting edge of best man speech humour by kicking things off with a seasonal one-liner. Whenever the wedding is (e.g. on FA Cup Final weekend, on Oscars night or at New Year) we offer carefully crafted material that will make you look good. |
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