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Classic best man speech jokes

Displaying 11 to 20 of 109 classic best man speech jokes Back 10 Records Next 10 Records
11 I've known the groom for a number of years. When people suggest I'm something of a big brother figure to Paul, I humbly disagree. I see myself as more of a father to him. After all, I've watched him suckle from a bottle, seen him stagger about naked, I've dressed and undressed him, and cleaned up after his mess. That was only this morning.
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12 Good evening Friends and Family. I'm so happy to preside over the only 5 minutes that the Bride didn't plan.
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13 What a day! I am absolutely speechless, which some of you may be pleased to hear. I did actually hear of a terrible time that a friend of mine had as best man last summer – struggling to get to the church on time, with a complete drunk on his hands. And then having to prop him up all through the service, praying that the bride didn’t notice. You'd think a vicar would know better than that.
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14 I really was nervous about making a speech today, so I prepared a few lines and having hoovered them up in the toilet a moment ago, feel absolutely fine.
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15 Seeing the happy couple walking down the aisle earlier today, I'm sure we all agree that the bride looked simply stunning. The groom, on the other hand, simply looked stunned.
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16 Ladies and gentlemen, there's no denying it, I'm a nervous wreck. This is the fifth time today I've got up from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand!
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17 I’ve been anxious about giving this speech for a while now. Fortunately last night I slept like a baby. Waking up every two hours and bawling my eyes out. Ten minutes ago, I had to ask a complete stranger to burp me.
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18 Ladies and Gentlemen, first things first, on behalf of the bridesmaids I would like to thank the Groom for his kind comments, they are indeed very well turned out. However I also want to warn him that that was the last time he will get away with complimenting other women in the presence of his wife.
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19 Hello everyone, my name is Jason and I'm the best man. I'm doing this speech because of the strength of the friendship between myself and Paul. And Paul has assured me that our friendship will continue, depending on the strength of this speech.
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20 It's hard to imagine that 23 years ago, Linda was going to bed with a dummy. Don't you think, Paul?
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What are 'Classic' Lines?
They are proven one-liners and stories that have never failed to raise a laugh from a wedding audience.
Example Speeches
This site contains over 100 ready-made best man speeches covering every conceivable:
groom (e.g. party animal),
best man (e.g. work friend)
and wedding (e.g. informal).
MUST SEE:
Prince Harry's Best Man Speech (1st draft)Featured Speech
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