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None of you will know this, but I've actually congratulated the groom already. 'Paul,' I said to him, 'Well done! You will always look back on today as the happiest and best thing you've ever done.' Fitting words, I thought, at the end of a fantastic stag do.
I was a bit concerned that after Paul made his cross-dressing tendencies so public during his stag night, that Linda might have had some competition today. But given the formal nature of the occasion, I am pleased to see, Paul, that you've decided to copy my outfit, rather than Linda’s.