Deliver a funny telegram
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As best man I’m obliged to read out any telegrams from non attendees, so if my speech seems long and boring, it’s probably their fault. So, here goes.
Just before we arrived I was given a few messages to read out from all those that a promise of free food and booze still couldn’t be convinced to leave their sofa and TV this afternoon: To Paul and Linda: ‘Best wishes on your wedding. Paul - your usual place awaits you on your return.’ From the Governor of Pentonville Prison.